Monday, January 23, 2017

Advice for Husband Picking

I just discovered a show called "Yefiqir Mirchaye" on EBS. I am perpetually surprised by what I think Ethiopian society is like, but by what it then turns out to be. This is one show I would not have expected to air on Ethiopian TV, but what do I know?

In one of the episodes one of the contestants was asked what kind of man she is expecting, and she said, "...beTam qonjo,,,", and it reminded me on an advice my mom gave me when I was young. Most of the advice my mom gave me is from when I was younger than 14. Looking back, I find the tidbits that I remember, specially on topics like how to pick a husband, really strange.

Thanks to this show, now I remember 3 metrics my mom gave me for husband selection:

  1. Never go for a good looking guy: ironic, I used to think. Because my father, in his younger pictures, looks like a pretty handsome guy. But then again, rumor has it my dad had to ask her hand many times before she agreed to marry him. Her reasoning? You don't want to have to deal with all the women who'll be throwing themselves at him. 
  2. When you're considering a guy seriously, think about whether you'll be comfortable with the guy raising your kids alone if you were to die. This is a bit too heavy to tell for a young girl, but thanks mom. My better half's sister is currently going through a divorce and she seems to be very concerned about her (ex)husband's ability to raise the children. I had to ask, but did she not consider what'd happen if she died before she married him? Umm, no, better half explained. Who does that anyway? Umm ... my mom. And me. 
  3. Don't marry a divorced guy: why? because there is no such thing as "it was her fault." True dat! Though, had there been an occasion for it ... I could see how divorce can teach some people to be better partners in life.  If I were to pass on a similar message to my kids, I'd amend it with, "Don't marry a divorced guy who doesn't appear to have learnt from his mistakes in his prior marriage"

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