Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Five years ago another BILB told me the obvious, 'if you don't have goals, you'll never reach them'.

At the time it didn't help me make goals, except for the part i joked around saying getting goals was my goal. I think I've spent the past five years doing what I'd call 'playing', at best. Slowly, I'm getting goals. Not five year goals, but definitely season goals, and vague 1-2 years goals.

At the beginning of the summer I made a list of things I wanted to do. The summer has officially ended, and here's my report card:

if we go strictly by the wording of the goals i emailed myself : 4 out of 7.
if i was to realistically evaluate my goals and grading: 3.5 out of 6

good surprises: 1
bad surprises: 2

Of the original 7:
1 goal has been moved to the fall.
1.5 to winter/spring and
1 to summer.

And I leave this with a question that's been bugging me all summer but I've not been able to answer. It came from my father who commented that my generation has a curious obsession (he called exactly that, curious) with cameras. "Why do you all take so many pictures?" he asked.

I couldn't tell him it was because I wanted to be a great photographer. I mean I'd not mind if I became one, but I know that I'm not willing to put in the energy and time for it, so I won't become one. If I were to become one because, you know, I've an undiscovered brilliance ... I have no desire to become a photographer as a profession.

Is it because I'm trying to save images for memory's sake? No, I hardly look at my old pictures. I think back of my 1 year experience in Scotland as fondly as other destinations where I've taken hundreds of photos. I have exactly one underexposed photo of my time in Scotland, and even that, i think somebody gave me.

Is it because others like to look at my pictures? Not really. Sometimes it is fun to take pictures of people, but most of the time i find i take pictures of mushrooms, snowy mountain tops and cracks. I don't share most of them.
Maybe because I'v been occupied with other things, or maybe I just can't justify to myself why I should pick my camera, but the number of pictures I've taken all summer is almost the same as what I'd have taken in a week in other years.

Maybe it's just a phase.

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