Stuck & Restless

Getting stuck at airports is horrible. Partly because, well, it sucks. Also because it prompts me to do things I generally don't have time to fabricate. As it is I have to make a conscious effort to un-glue myself from my computer, but when I get stuck in a shitty airport with free wireless, what to do, what to do? Of course, there's a magazine in my bag ... but ... those papery things are so antiquated. It's more exciting to spend time on the computer trying to find a website that has hard-copy articles available online. Isn't ... it? Maybe I'm subconsciously an obsessive environmentalist. I've an aversion to leafing through dead leaves. Yup, that's it.

This is an attempt to de-glue myself from fabricating online adventures. (Maybe i should pick up WoW?)

I saw a workmate online and we started talking about a wedding he just returned from. He mentioned there was a gay reverend at the wedding who asked one of his buddies to a dance-off. At the dance-off the reverent started groping his buddy. Nice. I told him that's like a multi-purpose reverend ... of spiritual, entertainment and ... other values.

I'm not sure what led to what but my workmate then created a blog called "had-to-take-out-link-to-his-blog-coz-he-posted-the-image-below-w-my-full-name-which-is-a-no-no" - his line of thought when he's not talking work is often random and ridiculous, which makes him an awesome person to talk to.

Then we somehow got onto online ordinance. I mentioned I knew somebody who presided over a friend's wedding after getting his ordinance online. He'd to pay some minuscule amount but was legal enough to preside over the wedding ... which worked out perfect for the couple who were non-practicing Catholic and Jewish. That led to a google search and discovery of The Universal Life Church Monastery . Somewhere along the way I got ordained as :

I can get a prettier hard copy of my certification for some amount, which I've differed at the moment. Do you see the recurring theme here? Save the environment! Dyum, it's in my frugal blood.

It occured to me only after I submitted my real name goodbye that I'd not actually checked their tenet. What if they're into killing babies, i asked? "Even so, the certificate would be worth it", he assured me. Hmm. It turns out :

The Universal Life Church has only two tenets:

* To promote freedom of religion
* To do that which is right.

It is the responsibility of the individual to determine what is right as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others and is within the law.

And this is their logo:


I can live with that. In fact, I support that.

Is the church 4Real? I don't know. Regardless, you should henceforth refer to me as Reverend Tobian.

Where is this fucking plane?? I've run out of stuff to ramble about.